So I started working on my 2012 goal of achieving formlessness by not taking anything personally.

Day 1 has been quite a struggle to constantly remind myself at every step not to take anything from anyone personally at all.

I find that making myself as busy as possible helps a lot, as it takes away time and space to think about anything else.

However I constantly have to deal with a nagging urge to get angry/upset at people and stuff… there is just this part of me boiling inside that wants to be let out. It’s quite a bit of struggle to resist the temptation to start IM-ing people and start bitching.

I ended Day 1 with bitching a little to a colleague. It was definitely a bad move ending Day 1 of my mission to achieve formlessness on a negative note.

Day 2 began with me feeling grouchy from not having slept well. Today I kept my face straight and so far at midday I’m doing relatively well, being emotionless and 100% no nonsense on the outside. Still the boil inside me continues. I think I will need to do a fair bit of self-talk to iron out the imbalances within myself.

2.5 years in this place and for the longest time I believed that in the workplace there can be “friends before work”. Now I learn for sure that it’s everyone for his own cause and there is no bullshit such as “friends before work”. It’s all about incentives and benefits of being friends. Don’t believe in the lie when someone tells you he regards you as a friend not just a colleague, it’s a lie for sure. Don’t wait until something happens and you find out that this friend is not really a true friend… it’d be too late by then.

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