I never knew dying at home was really an issue worth studying about until I read in the news recently that the Ministry of Health would be studying into how to let more people die in the comfort of their own homes.

Indeed, it is very sad that only 3 in 10 people die at home. I was astounded when I knew about that statistic. I’ve always thought that a majority of people die at home, not in the hospital.

When my father was terminally ill in 2005, he had to go in and out of the hospital very often. Every other day or so, there would be someone on the same level (where all the cancer patients were warded) who would pass away. It was very discouraging for fellow patients as well as their caregivers to see and hear the grief of family and friends of the dead patients, who all fear the day when their turn would come.

There is very little privacy when dying in a hospital. The nurses just pull the curtains up around the beds, and there is little else that can be done. It’s certainly not the best environment to die in.

Given that the last days of terminally ill patients can more or less be estimated based on their conditions, it would certainly be good if patients and their caregivers can be encouraged and empowered – in terms of medical and logistical needs – to let them spend their last days at home where it can be more comfortable than a 6 or 8-bed hospital ward where a patient is faced with many other scenes of suffering besides his own.

As for my father, I am glad that he made a decision back then, to not go to the hospital anymore. He was feeling very tired of having to go in and out for treatments that didn’t seemed to work, and one day during his medical appointment, he asked his doctor whether he could schedule less frequent appointments for him. The doctor simply nodded and said sorry.

Although two weeks before his death he had to be admitted via the emergency department, he spent his final days at home with family around him, and just 2 or 3 days before he left, he was visibly happy when friends and relatives visited him.

He decided to give up one evening when he called the family to gather around and told us that he wasn’t afraid of dying… that he was feeling very tired of the fight, and wanted to go to nirvana and that he would miss us. We then agreed to call in the religious people to pray for him the next day, but just slightly before dawn he began his last journey.

I hope MOH would provide more help, education and support for the terminally ill to allow them to die at home. It is the very least comfort that can be given to these people and their families.

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